Review of Lead Me Not by Ann Gallagher
When I started reading Lead Me Not, I was hesitant. This is not the first LGBTQ+ book I’ve read, but it is the first Christian LGBTQ+ book I’ve read. And when the main character Isaac is first introduced, his thoughts and actions are so very harsh and homophobic. This is the protagonist we’re supposed to cheer for? Not likely. But then, Isaac slowly began to grow on me. I realized that he is actually in the closet himself, so deep he can’t see his way out, can’t see much of anything. He is blind.
Isaac’s family and the environment he grew up in are incredibly toxic. Gallagher paints a masterful picture of the way they twist the Scriptures to condemn homosexuality. Isaac’s brother William is especially hateful, while Isaac himself sincerely just wants to help people — although he is very wrong in how he tries to do so. Isaac’s father has already disowned two of his children for not believing exactly as he does. Scenes with Isaac’s family are not easy to read.
The premise of the plot gave me pause as well. Isaac’s twin sister Ruth suggests that they make a documentary to prove that you can choose to be gay — by Isaac “choosing” to be gay, then “choosing” to be straight again. Of course, Isaac is not straight and never has been. And never will be.
When Colton — a bartender at a gay club — enters the story like the Good Samaritan and saves Isaac from getting beaten in the alley behind the club where he bartends, saves him from being beaten by homophobic thugs who probably believe a lot of the same BS Isaac believes, Colton drives him to the hospital and stays with him and then drives him home. That a stranger, a gay stranger, would do that for him shakes Isaac’s worldview to its core.
Then Isaac finds out that Colton is a Christian and that he volunteers at a local church helping save LGBTQ+ teenagers from the streets, and his world tips on its axis again. There is a crack in his closet door, letting in just a bit of light.
It’s not easy of course. While Isaac “lives the gay lifestyle” for the documentary, telling everyone around him that he is gay, he still very much believes that he is not. The closet door might be ajar, but he is still huddled inside, trying to hide from the light. This changes slowly, but he fights it every step of the way.
Despite the harsh language and rhetoric, this really is a very uplifting book. Isaac’s family is shown clearly to be wrong. There is no insistence that Isaac must forgive them either. Sometimes the best thing to do is to put distance between yourself and that toxic relationship. I’m used to romance novels being rather shallow in theme and content, but this one surprised me. I would highly recommend it, and I will likely read it again.